i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
