a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
