Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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