So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
