We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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