He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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