i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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