Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
