I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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