I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
