Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
