she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
