xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
