If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
