Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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