I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
