My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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