it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I currently don't understand fingers.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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