forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
