guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
