I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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