there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
