rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
