remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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