I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
