Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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