u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
