Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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