Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
