I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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