She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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