Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
