I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
