Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
