I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
