so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Michael Bay diarrhea
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
