I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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