Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
