I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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