It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
