In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
