I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
