come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
