i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
