i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
