just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
