If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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