Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i barfeds in our rink
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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