I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
