He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
