I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
